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Author Topic: RIP Brian Itzaina  (Read 82119 times)

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Offline HOSHPOSH

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Re: RIP Brian Itzaina
« Reply #150 on: January 04, 2014, 11:33:19 PM »
Whats up guys. This is Josh, Brian's brother. I originally got him into Bikeguide back when I used to be super active on the forums. College and work got me away from coming home to Bikeguide a few years ago and since then I have only lurked here and there. I am sure many of you are seeking closure, just as I am in everything that has happened. You know the thing about Brian is he would go hard on everything. I started riding BMX when he was still a sponsored skater. About six months in, he got a bike. Next thing you knew, two weeks later he had surpassed me and was doing tech shit while I was still on the fundamentals. then he got into a shop. the he ran the shop for pennies in the background, and made his way to work at Haro finally. He drank hard, he rode hard, he lived hard, and still always had time to have a smile on his face no matter what bone was broken or what shit had been going wrong in his life. The last few years he has made so many good choices in his life. His long time nickname of "Hesh" was starting to wear off a bit. He wore nice shirts, and got his motorcycle. Settled down with his girlfriend and became the provider of a small family, but still a family. He was mending deep wounds with my father. He was becoming a true responsible adult. The thing that tears me up, as many of you might remember, is that he got me through 3 1/2 years of Chemotherapy from aggressive Leukemia. He was always there for me while I was down and on the verge of death, holding on by a smile. During that time he was more than just my older brother, but my Best Friend. During all of my chemo he helped me build the raddest Randy Brown build from bikeguide sales in the trans red with twombolts, odyssey races, profile wheels, and my favorite a chrome challenger just to keep me looking forward in life and to get stoked on living again. Brian had been on some medications. I was not aware of them, but they were revealed to me by our mom recently. They were making him physically sick, but helping him with life mentally. He was really trying to balance out the dosage and figure out the right medication. Not saying he had any disorders or depression, life can get to everyone. The main thing about these medications, as some of you might know, is that you cannot stop cold turkey. You can experience deep depression and suicidal thoughts very rapidly, which is not like my brother. Brian always knew best, even if it was not the right way. You couldn't convince him otherwise. So when it came to taking advice from a doctor on quitting medications, he was not really avidly listening. Not saying that this is the reasoning for the events that happened, but it only takes one line to connect two dots. He has touched so many lives, seamlessly without effort, by just being himself. He will be missed, remembered, forgotten by some, but shit that's life. After the last few weeks, with everything that has played out, the best way to describe myself is numb. Not because I want to be, but because I just am. My emotions only have gotten the best of me once, driving his motorcycle home from the side of the road that day where he took his life, trying to fathom what was going through his mind on his drive out there. We are having a traditional service on the Friday Jan. 17th at 1pm in Escondido at Emanuel Faith Community Church that all friends are welcome to. Since I work at the Escondido skatepark, we are also organizing a Ride For Brian BMX Jam that following Sunday for the 19th. Details are still shady, and I am getting it all sorted out on Tuesday when I come into work. I'll will let everyone know what is up when I find out. With all this being said, thanks for the condolences from everyone, and I hope you can seek some sort of closure from this. Ride on Bro!


Offline master

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Re: RIP Brian Itzaina
« Reply #151 on: January 04, 2014, 11:50:29 PM »
Josh- I'm so sorry for your loss, and thank you for taking the time to share with us.

Brian has been in my thoughts for the last few weeks... I really wish I could attend his service to pay my respects. He was a great guy.

Offline Alex.

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Re: RIP Brian Itzaina
« Reply #152 on: January 05, 2014, 12:05:03 AM »
Thanks for the reply Josh. Hang in there bud!
(ง'̀-'́)ง

Offline Joram

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Re: RIP Brian Itzaina
« Reply #153 on: January 05, 2014, 04:02:25 AM »
Whoa man, thanks for sharing and explaining some stuff for us.
Hang in there.

Offline hugh.

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Re: RIP Brian Itzaina
« Reply #154 on: January 05, 2014, 10:21:26 AM »
Brian has been in my thoughts for the last few weeks... I really wish I could attend his service to pay my respects. He was a great guy.

Like wise.

Thanks for the post Josh. My thoughts are with you, your family and friends.

Offline Narcoleptic Insomniac

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Re: RIP Brian Itzaina
« Reply #155 on: January 05, 2014, 10:55:47 AM »
That made me tear up a little bit. Rip. Green squares for life.

Offline Cole

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Re: RIP Brian Itzaina
« Reply #156 on: January 05, 2014, 11:13:47 AM »
Josh, thanks dude. Cleared up a lot I'm sure for all of us on here. Deepest condolences dude, hope you and your family are doing alright.
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Offline _tom_

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Re: RIP Brian Itzaina
« Reply #157 on: January 05, 2014, 11:25:53 AM »
Welling up a bit reading that Josh but thanks for posting and I hope you/your family can get through this as best as possible.

Offline Sebastian

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Re: RIP Brian Itzaina
« Reply #158 on: January 05, 2014, 02:38:44 PM »
Josh, thanks for posting that, and I'm so sorry for your loss.  Keep your head up and try to stay positive.

Offline Ruben Josť

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Re: RIP Brian Itzaina
« Reply #159 on: January 05, 2014, 04:13:05 PM »
 Hope you're doing good in this complicated moment Josh, wish you the best. Stay strong man.
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Offline torontoflatlander

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Re: RIP Brian Itzaina
« Reply #160 on: January 05, 2014, 04:29:49 PM »
Nothing I can say that hasn't already been said. Stay strong and all the best to you Josh and the family.
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Offline PabstBlueRibbon

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Re: RIP Brian Itzaina
« Reply #161 on: January 05, 2014, 05:50:51 PM »
Such an eye opener. I guess I'll start listening to the doctor about stopping cold turkey on medicine. Amazing how just stopping them can take you to a very dark place when you feel A-OK. There has been several times I have gone cold turkey and felt like shit again. I am sorry about Brian and wish he could have talked to us more. We lost a good man way to early.
« Last Edit: January 06, 2014, 04:50:47 PM by PabstBlueRibbon »

Offline Elston Gunn

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Re: RIP Brian Itzaina
« Reply #162 on: January 05, 2014, 07:51:13 PM »
I haven't said anything about this at all, but I haven't stopped thinking about him since I first read what happened. I, like so many others, only communicated with him here on this forum, but came away from those interactions feeling like he was such a great person. My heart breaks for everyone who was close to him.

Offline HOSHPOSH

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Re: RIP Brian Itzaina
« Reply #163 on: January 07, 2014, 09:36:42 PM »
Thanks for the kind words everyone. I know this does not apply to all, but if you guys
 have a way and feel like you want to come have one big shred for Brian.... seriously
all are welcome. If you do not feel it is not your place still come. Ill be taking the cobwebs
off the bmx to ride and have a good time.



Offline milhous

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Re: RIP Brian Itzaina
« Reply #164 on: January 07, 2014, 10:57:39 PM »
I wish I lived even remotely close to California so I could attend the Celebration of Life.

Glad to see you on here again HOSHPOSH, and I am glad you are staying strong!

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Re: RIP Brian Itzaina
« Reply #164 on: January 07, 2014, 10:57:39 PM »

 

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