Mother flippin' townhouses.

[ginger]

I live in a townhouse/maisonette type place (joining wall down the length of the house to our neighbours, we're #A and they're #B). My neighbours have no idea how to enter/exit/socialise/talk/do anything without making as much noise as possible.

I have resorted to playing "twinkle twinkle little star" on my electric guitar with the amp butted against the wall once a week, usually at 7 am. Any further ideas to disrupt their life as much as they disrupt mine are welcome.

[alaskun]

are you allowed to have pets?

find some sort of animal shelter livestream and play it at full volume whenever you're out

[Kinchy]

Cover a plate in piss (the more dehydrated and smelly the better), and freeze it. Pop off the frozen piss disc and slide it under their front door when they go out. It will melt into their carpet and stink.

Repeat as necessary

[lil bawbee]

apartment and condo living is less expensive just for this reason. it sucks but you get what you pay for. pony up and get a normal house. if you can't afford this the re prioritize your life until you can or just live with it. 

[meathead]

play slayer full blast at about 2am.

 trow a massive house party.

[Danno]

I was going to suggest fish juice on the front door mat, but Kinchy's idea is gold!

[Kinchy]

A chef I used to work with gave me the idea. He also suggested grating frozen poo into carpets or hiding fish carcasses inside computer speakers

[KillSeth]

Knock on their door and talk to them about it.

[Tall Opinion]

Frozen piss plate is pure gold

[ginger]

The frozen piss is great, but I think they have floorboards. Might be good on the welcome mat though! I have a surplus of baby turd nappies, so I've been dropping a few in their bins every week.

[LeonLikesToRock]

Works just as well on floor boards, it looks like someone pissed on their floor. They'll either wonder how you broke in or say "damn, we got piss disced".

When you're messing with the old lady yell out their names.

[locomotive]

I know what you're saying! We are in one of the middle units, and on one of my sides we have total saints, but I wish we could say that about the other. One day the grandpa(not super old early 60s) started cleaning his winter car mats on my grass, and when I went to acquire as to what he was doing. He said he was just watering the grass. I said I saw everything and told him to keep his garbage on his property. After that, the wife (I'm guessing the grandpa's daughter) has never looked at us again and refuses to wave or say hi. Now here comes the worst part. The kid has this outdoor basketball hoop attached inside his garage on the side of the wall we share. In the summer it was fine, but now that its winter it is getting ridiculous. The stupid thing is, the ceiling isn't all that tall so the only thing this kid can really do is dunk. Every time he does you can hear it from any room in my house. It gets bad when he has friends over.

#firstworldproblems

[streetStreet]

slammin' bitches > twinkle twinkle on guitar.

[Prodigal Son]

I bet they're stoked on your screaming offspring right?

[ginger]

She's pretty chill these days, but I still hold her up to the wall while screaming when I get the chance.